A Parent, Not a Buddy

September 30, 2009

Been a little while.  I just wanted to direct your attention to Mike Cope’s recent entry about being brave enough to be a parent who sets boundaries for their kids rather than trying to please them all the time.  Click here to read it.

One of the readers calls it:

…true encouragement, the actual pouring of encouragement into the heart of another at the point of need.

Yes it is.  Hope to see as many of you as possible for dinner & Bible study tonight.

Posted by Robert | Filed Under Blog 
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Comments

4 Responses to “A Parent, Not a Buddy”

  1. Jill Lowell on September 30th, 2009 8:44 pm

    Excellent. It’s not a new concept, but I like the new way of putting it. It seems to me that often there is a misconcept that “it’s normal for their age” means that there is no need to correct them, or – yes – lecture them ( I prefer the word teach). Often parents just laugh about it and do not address behavior so as not to rock the boat, it’s too hard to have to deal with the conflict. In my opinion, “normal for their age” means do not OVER react, it does not mean do not react at all simply because you do not want to make them feel bad.

    good, “spur one another on” article

  2. Tom Hubert on October 1st, 2009 2:56 pm

    Great Article Robert. Thanks for passing it on. I was raised with boundaries by firm but very loving parents. At the time there were certain boundaries I didn’t care for but as I got older and into my late teens, I slowly began to appreciate what my parents did as they guided me through my formative years. I disagree with one thing though. I believe your parents can also be your “buddy” or “best friend”. I see nothing wrong with having that type of relationship with your child and setting boundaries at the same time. I am living proof that the two can co-exist. Both of my parents recently passed awasy. I miss them both but I had a special relationship with my Dad. He was my buddy. We enjoyed alot together and I miss his laughs, his joking around and his advice. He was my friend. My parents not only supplied my room and board, clothing etc but they gave me moral support and encouragement to me just as a good friend or “buddy” would do. Boudaries are necessary for proper development of children but I still think you can be a “buddy” to your kids.

  3. Robert on October 1st, 2009 5:52 pm

    You’re right, Tom. I hope it’s not an either/or. In fact it seems to me that just as much damage can be done by either extreme. I just think we need to decide what it means to be our kids’ friend. And I don’t think it calls for being a friend in the same way as I would be with someone who is my peer.

  4. Jill Lowell on October 1st, 2009 9:07 pm

    Very well said, Tom. Of course that relationship can still be a close one. Thank you for pointing that out.

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