AT MY GATE SUNDAY

March 12, 2010 | Leave a Comment

In his book Seismic Shifts: The Little Changes That Make a Big Difference in Your Life Kevin Harney tells the following story:
A little boy sat on the floor of the church nursery with a red rubber ball in each arm and three Nerf balls clenched on the floor between his pudgy little knees. He was trying to protect all five from the other children in the nursery. The problem was, he could not hold all five at once, and the ball nearest to his feet was particularly vulnerable to being stolen. So, whenever another child showed an interest in playing with one of the balls, he snarled to make it clear these toys were not for sharing.
I suppose I should have stepped in and made the little guy give up one or two of the balls, but I was too wrapped up in the drama of it all. For about five minutes, this little guy growled, postured, and kept the other children away from the balls. Like a hyena hunched over the last scraps of a carcass, this snarling little canine was not in the mood for sharing. The other kids circled like vultures around the kill, looking for a way to jump in and snatch a ball without being attacked and bitten. I honestly did not know whether to laugh or cry as I watched.
Then it struck me: This little boy was not having any fun at all. There was no cheer within ten yards of this kid. Not only was he unhappy, but all the other kids seemed sad as well. His selfishness created a black hole that sucked all of the joy out of that nursery…. When church was over and his parents came to pick him up, he left the balls behind. I guess the old saying is true, you can’t take it with you.
Blessed are those who outgrow their possessiveness, for they are able to relax. This morning is At My Gate Sunday—a day where we highlight the work that’s being done by our partners at the Use Offot Church of Christ in Nigeria. The funds we share with them have the opposite effect of the actions of the boy in the story. Because you are willing to sacrifice a little bit, a great deal of good work is being done. People are getting medical help, children are getting an education and young people are learning a trade.
And the good news for you and me is, not only are we doing good, we’re finding another way to fulfill are mission this year. As we’ll see today, to share is to build your life on the rock. I hope you’ll share today.

Robert Lee

Posted by NCOC | Filed Under Amen Corner, Articles 

NUTS AND BOLTS

March 4, 2010 | Leave a Comment

“31″It has been said, ‘Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.’ 32But I tell you…” (Matthew 5)
According to Douglas LaBier, a Psychotherapist with over 35 years experience, many people are suffering from an unknown and undiagnosed deficiency that is injuring their relationships and poisoning our world’s attempts to find peace. He calls the condition EDD. He goes on to say…
“People who suffer from EDD are unable to step outside themselves and tune in to what other people experience. That makes it a source of personal conflicts, of communication failure in intimate relationships, and of the adversarial attitudes — even hatred — among groups of people who differ in their beliefs, traditions or ways of life.”

What does EDD stand for? It’s short for “Empathy Deficit Disorder.” LaBier defines empathy as “what you feel when you enter the internal world of another person. Without abandoning your own perspective, you experience the other’s emotions, conflicts or aspirations.” The key to empathy is a willingness to try seeing and feeling things from another person’s point of view. To, as the old saying goes, walk a mile in their shoes. It requires that we attempt to see more than our own perspective.

LaBier regularly sees clients who are unable to do this. As an example he points to the man who is unable to appreciate his wife’s need for him to spend time with his children because he “need(s) time for (his) sports activities on the weekends.”

Or the woman who says of American Muslims: “I think they’re all terrorists, and would like to kill us all, anyway.” In each of these cases, a person is unwilling to step away from his or her point of view and imagine what life must be like for someone else. LaBier acknowledges that this is not a diagnosable illness. But he does want to draw our attention to what he sees as a common occurrence.

Today we’re going to be talking about a subject that is not suitable for anyone who might be suffering from EDD. It’s tempting to talk about things in the abstract and the theoretical, forgetting to ask ourselves, “How does this affect the lives of real people?” I want us to avoid that temptation today. I want us to be honest but not uncaring, truthful but not ruthless. Jesus demonstrated this ability with the people he encountered. He never seemed to forget that he was dealing with a real person and not just a set of ideas to be agreed with or argued against. Paul challenges us to “speak the truth” but he also reminds us to do so “in love.” That’s not always an easy tension to maintain. I hope we can do that this morning.
— Robert Lee

Posted by NCOC | Filed Under Amen Corner, Articles 

WHAT’S GOING ON IN THERE?

February 26, 2010 | Leave a Comment

Rob Bell begins his book Sex God by talking about the story of Jacob and Esau. Jacob, the younger and cleverer twin, cheats his hirsute and impulsive older brother out of a birthright and their father’s blessing. It’s too long a story to tell here, but it’s a great one if you haven’t read it (Genesis 25-27). Then when Esau realizes he’s been duped, he vows to use his considerable brawn to end the life of his conniving brother. So Jacob has to run away from home.

At one point on his journey, Jacob stops for the night, and he has a dream in which there is a staircase that reaches up to the heavens. He sees that angels—messengers of God—are ascending and descending it. The idea of the dream is that God’s world and our world are connected—that God is at work in spite of Jacob’s less than exemplary behavior.

When Jacob wakes up, he says to himself, “Surely the LORD is in this place and I didn’t know it.” So he calls the place “Beth El” (house of God) and builds an altar out of rocks as a monument to God’s appearance. The idea is that the pile of rocks is not just a pile of rocks. It’s a sign, a symbol—something that points away from itself to something greater.

Bell goes on to say that a lot of things in our lives are about more than just the thing that they appear to be on the surface and that it’s definitely true of our sexuality. He says:

“You can’t talk about sexuality without talking about how we were made. And that will inevitably lead you to who made us. At some point you have to talk about God…Sex. God. They’re connected. And they can’t be separated.”

In our passage for today, Jesus says the same thing. Adultery is about more than just adultery. Just like murder is about more than murder and making oaths is about more than making oaths. Jesus is interested in more than just the surface issue. He always wants to get to the heart of the matter. He always wants us to ask ourselves: “What’s going on in there?
Robert Lee

Posted by NCOC | Filed Under Amen Corner, Articles 

DON’T COME TO CHURCH

February 17, 2010 | Leave a Comment

23 “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, 24 leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to that person; then come and offer your gift. (Matthew 5)
What do you do if you’re a Chinese business man who hasn’t spoken to his father and former business partner for several years following a disagreement several years ago? And what do you do after a recent attempt at reconciliation that involved the bearing of gifts ended with you getting the door slammed in your face? It’s probably a good idea to call The Tianjin Apology and Gift Center. After all, their slogan is “We say sorry for you.” According to a recent NY Times article, that’s exactly what one Mr. Song did.
By the admission of all the Chinese people interviewed for the article, apologies don’t come easily for their culture. As one Chinese sociologist said, “It’s much easier for a Westerner to say “sorry” than compared with a Chinese — I mean they’re always saying ‘excuse me’ and ‘sorry.’” But for the Chinese it is a thing rarely offered and just as rarely accepted.
That’s why, for a fee of $2.50 per apology, you can have a professional do it for you. The founder of the company is a former lawyer whose interest in psychology led to his latest inspiration. The Apology and Gift center hires only well-educated men and women with “excellent verbal ability” to offer apologies on behalf of its clients. In addition, the apologizers are given training in counseling.
It took “five difficult visits,” but Mr. Song was finally reconciled to his father. He was just one of nearly one hundred people who sought the services of the company in its first few months. Still, most acknowledge that, whenever possible, a personal apology is best.
I think Jesus would agree that a personal apology is best. But I also think he would appreciate the lengths that people are willing to go in order to achieve reconciliation. One thing is clear from our text this morning. Jesus feels that a fractured relationship calls for urgent and immediate action.
Let this be my first challenge to you. If you have a problem with a brother or sister, today is the day to make things right. I hope you’ll prayerfully think about what you can do this morning. We who are reconciled to God through Christ owe it to ourselves and to others to exercise the same mercy that we have been shown.

Robert Lee

Posted by NCOC | Filed Under Amen Corner, Articles 

Talk Is Cheap

January 21, 2010 | Leave a Comment

It is said that, after the Civil War had ended, someone asked Ulysses S. Grant to offer an evaluation of his fellow general, George B. McClellan. Grant replied, “McClellan is to me one of the mysteries of the war.”
Most historians are baffled by McClellan. The grandson of a Revolutionary War general, and second in his class at West Point, he had the makings of a great leader. In the early years of his career, he demonstrated considerable organizational skills. He was selected to serve as an observer of the European armies in the Crimean War. He had extensive knowledge of troop organization, and was successful in civilian work for two different railroads. When the Civil War broke out, McClellan was highly sought after. He was eventually selected by President Lincoln to form the Army of the Potomac and to serve as its general-in-chief.
But despite his skill in forming an army, McClellan was unable to achieve victory. On many infamous occasions, he failed to use the North’s considerable numeric advantage to bring a quick end to the South’s rebellion. He consistently overestimated the strength of his opponents, and thus was hesitant rather than decisive. It is widely held that McClellan’s failure to act resulted in a much longer conflict and considerably more deaths for both sides.
Lincoln eventually removed McClellan of his command, but not before he famously exclaimed, “If General McClellan does not want to use the army, I would like to borrow it for a time.”
As we continue to dwell on our theme for this year, we’ll find that the same thing is expected of us. We are called to take action. “Building on the Rock” is what happens when we hear the words of and put them in to practice.
McClellan had the pedigree, the skill and the intelligence to be a great leader. But none of it was helpful, because he failed to put it all to use. We may have all the spiritual gifts in the world. They will not help us if we fail to act. This morning, I hope we can all take seriously God’s call to express our faith through action.

Robert Lee

Posted by NCOC | Filed Under Amen Corner, Articles 

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